Finding your tribe

Well that was a miserable bank holiday wasn’t it?! In typical British style we had rain, wind and grey clouds instead of the sunshine cracking the flags. But hey ho, all our hopes now rested on the last attempt of the year in August! 🤞🏻

Anyway, I did celebrate the bank holiday in style with some of my closest (and newest) friends. The 6 mum friends that were brought to me 9 months ago from the heavenly hands of NCT.

Awards

Those my friends, are the 2019 Mammy awards!

Intrigued by the above?! You can see what we got up to over on my insta stories today if you fancy a nosey!

Why do we need mum friends?

Before I was pregnant I had no idea why someone would need friends who were also mums. Or why they seemed to always have babies of similar ages. Kids are kids and why would I want to spend time talking about them with a near stranger? I have a pretty awesome bunch of mates, who’ve been with me throughout the sh*test times in my life, so why at 32 do I need anymore?!

But when I fell pregnant and joined a lovely Facebook group (linked to A Life Loved, the sister of Love My Dress wedding blog) filled with new mums, those expecting and those trying I started to understand why.

(And recently a group of us from this group met up and it was simply gorgeous 😍 here’s my online mum chum Lucy and Little Rex! )

Mums and babies

Lucy G Jenkins and Rex

When your head is bamboozled with questions about your changing body and precious little one at 4am, you need a safe space to let it out. Not that I’m a user, but I imagine controversial MumsNet is not that place. And your friends, with or without kids, aren’t going to be best pleased if you disturb their beauty sleep or interrupt their night out to discuss your woes.

Off to NCT

So at 30 odd weeks we booked onto our local NCT course, to not only meet 6 other sets of parents but to learn how the hell you look after a baby. (At this point I still held a baby like a ticking time bomb and had zero interest in how to change a nappy…..)

And it pretty much changed the course of the rest of my pregnancy and maternity leave. These girls (well women, but when you all still feel 18...) saved me. Mentally and physically, on a number of occasions in those early newborn days. All thanks to a WhatsApp group started after knowing each other for 48hours complete with a 7 strong bump profile pic we’ll now treasure forever.

7 pregnant women

NCT bump tribe!

7 mums, 7 lives

We couldn’t be more different. Different ages, different walks of life and different interests. Most of us probably wouldn’t have even met if we all hadn’t of magically become pregnant within a 2 month window of one another and splurged some cash on learning how to bath a baby simultaneously. But we work. We support one other and care for each other (and our babes) as if we met years before.

Of course they’ll never replace my best friends. The ones I’ve grown up with, partied, cried and celebrated life with. The ones whose children Ace will grow up thinking of as family, as I love them as if they were.

But having someone whose babes birthday is mere days away from yours (we had 4 babies born within the space of a week 🙈) means you can talk about weaning, baby proofing and those returning to work fears in real time. Safe in the knowledge that you are all going through the same feelings at the exact same time. It’s invaluable stuff.

NCT post baby celebrations!

You’ll eventually reach the point you can enjoy baby free nights out, finally finding time not to talk kids but talk about us instead. Like ‘normal’ friends without the ‘mum’ tagline.

So let’s loose the ‘mum friend’ eye rolling, I was definitely guilty of.

Get out there and find your tribe.

Did you do an NCT course? I’d love to know if you are still in touch with your fellow mums!

Sian x

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