Ace has now been in our arms for nearly 20 weeks. 20 weeks of feelings I could never have imagined before- exhaustion, worry but mostly, intense love. Exhaustion being the key right now, as I scribble down my thoughts at 4am whilst a teething boy has finally found relief and is catching a few more winks before his day begins.
But sometimes the general ponderings before sunrise are some of the best.
Oh those newborn days..
It’s crazy thinking back to those whirlwind newborn days. The days than seem to never have a beginning or end. The ones that just roll into one another, grabbing moments of sleep when you can, in-between managing visitors, trying to initiate breastfeeding and keeping on top of the mountain of laundry the smallest person in the house creates. It’s almost like they happened in another life, to another person.
I’m even struggling to remember what Ace was like that small. How tiny he must have been in the crib, which he’s so tall for now that he should really be upgrading to the big cot.
Starting all over again
I don’t know about you, but I would just love to be transported back to my babe arriving. But with all the knowledge and confidence I have right now within me.
Knowing that he would eventually gain weight and we’d find our feet with feeding (albeit by bottle) or that the daily 12 hours of gut wrenching colic would eventually pass. Even knowing that I’d miss the night feed when he finally slept through, because those moonlight moments were precious and belonged to just me and him.
Those November mornings were we watched the sunrise as a precious family of three will always remain some of my favourites.
To compare his newborn self, cosied up in the fetal position, to his near 5 month self, intent on rolling and whacking away at his toy arch with such energy and determination. To see the two versions laid next to one another would be utterly mind boggling and heart wrenching. Because before we know it, he’ll be sitting up, crawling and cutting his two front teeth. Our baby is becoming a little boy more and more each day.
I know it’s been said for years, but my god do they grow so quickly. Blink and you’ll miss it. And miss it I already do.